Ding! Pop! Repeat. There’s an endless stream of notifications that demands my attention. It gets overwhelming, not only causing distraction but also distress — I remember once, in 2020, hearing phantom alerts from my work app while I was in the shower.
For the longest time, my screen time was an average of six hours per day, with half of that spent on Instagram and TikTok. Aside from being distracting, this has a big impact on my mental health. Seeing nothing but curated versions of others’ lives has warped my perception of how good their experiences must be — and how much I need to accomplish in order to catch up. As someone who has struggled with self-image, it also doesn’t help seeing a stream of celebrities and influencers whose job it is to look perfect. For me, social media is a slippery slope that has the potential to send me spiralling.
But I need it for work, I reasoned to myself as I scrolled endlessly. But how can I get to a place where there’s a healthier balance? Well, I’ve tried everything from turning notifications off to blocking certain apps with tools like Opal. Unfortunately, I am not very good at resisting impulses, and I end up thoughtlessly bypassing the restrictions I’ve put in place.
I’ve also tried quitting cold turkey. The first couple weeks are refreshing; I end up with more time for other things. However, my phone isn’t completely out of sight since I use it for work and keeping in touch with others. And once it’s in my hand, I feel that urge to check the apps — wondering about news, trends and updates that I may be missing out on. I just can’t resist logging in again.
Now, since I know I can’t quit my phone completely, I’m trying to take a more intentional approach to my usage. The reality is that I can’t just go off-grid. But I definitely want to be more mindful of why I’m staying on, and to let that guide my interactions. A kind of quiet quitting, if you will.
Instead of falling into the trap of brainrotting or doomscrolling, I want to use social media to create and maintain meaningful relationships with people I actually know in real life. On Instagram, I’ve unfollowed all celebrities, influencers and brands, eliminating the picture-perfect content that negatively affects the way I think of myself. I’ve also uninstalled it from my phone, only accessing it on the clunkier desktop version. This makes it a bit more annoying to use and prevents me from scrolling too much.
And I think it’s working! These days, I usually just log in to reply to any DMs, see what’s new with friends and close the app before I get too caught up. My mind is a lot clearer, and I’ve even started using the reclaimed time towards weekly ballet classes. As for TikTok, I’ve simply deleted my account, since it doesn’t align with my intention of connecting with people I know.
In exploring ways to connect with others outside of social media, I also discovered an app called Letterloop that helps groups create email newsletters. Now, I have more insightful conversations with my friends that are sparked by thoughtful prompts. I get to learn about what’s going on in their lives not from curated photo dumps but from candid updates.
Shifting my focus from simply cutting down app usage to intentionally reshaping my relationship with social media is what helped me get it under control. Since I started these efforts, my phone’s screen time statistics have gone down drastically. I’m proud to report that I’m now at an average of two and a half hours daily. In the meantime, I’ve actually finished reading a sci-fi novel that’s been on my list for a while! Suffice it to say, I’m looking forward to all the other things I can accomplish with the time I’m gaining back by quiet quitting social media.
Louise Tam